Repairing Relationships
Daniel Hope
No one is perfect; at times we all fail ourselves, fail God, and fail others. Therefore, our relationships will occasionally be in need of repair. When we’re faced with a broken relationship, we can respond in various ways. We can, for instance, ignore the need, seek revenge, hold a grudge, gossip about it, or we can seek reconciliation.
Out of the many different paths possible, only one will lead to a repaired relationship. This path, of course, is the road of reconciliation, which, by the way, is not always the easiest path to travel. All too often things like self-righteousness, emotions, and pride keep a person from taking this path and extending forgiveness.
But Christians are called to get beyond these hindrances and forgive one another. Forgiveness is not something we should do, but something we must do. Why must we?
First, we must forgive for the good of others (Mt. 7:12). If we are truly concerned with someone, we will forgive and comfort them when they repent, so that they won’t be swallowed up with sorrow (2 Cor. 2:7).
Second, we must forgive for the good of the cause of Christ (Acts 15:36-40). Few things stifle the evangelistic efforts of a congregation like a reputation for being unforgiving. Do you know of anyone who has vowed never to step foot in a church building again because of the unforgiving attitudes he or she experienced there?
Third, we must forgive because we are family (Gen. 13:8). Few things are sadder than seeing blood relatives estranged from one another, refusing to speak to one another for years. One of the few things that is sadder is to see this happen among those related through the blood of Christ. As a child of God, there should be a family resemblance between me and my Father. If I don’t possess His forgiving attitude, it might be a good idea to check my spiritual DNA—my father may not be who I think!
Fourth, we must forgive for our own good—both emotional and spiritual. Bitterness, resentment, and hate eat away at a person emotionally like cancer overtakes a person physically. Although we can always come up with some kind of justification for harboring these feelings in our heart, it is never right in God’s sight. Even if the people that have wronged us aren’t repentant, we still aren’t justified for having an unforgiving spirit (Lk. 23:34; Acts 7:60). But even more important than our emotional well-being is our spiritual well being. If there’s anything that Jesus makes crystal clear in His teaching ministry it’s that the unforgiving will go unforgiven (Mt. 6:12, 14-16; 18:35; Lk. 6:37).
Don’t burn the bridge over which you must pass—forgive others.