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Introduction: Everyone want to have a happy marriage, although many marriages today are unhappy. (Recent event of Fireman & Wife).

A. Divorce lawyers, marriage counselors and sociologists usually list 3 to 7 major problem areas in marriage. Let us notice the five most prominent ones.

A. One divorce lawyer estimated that in 90% of all divorce cases, communication was the number one problem.

B. Hugo Bordeaux, executive director of the Marriage Counseling Service in Baltimore, MD said: "All over America, husbands and wives cannot talk to each other. It is their biggest problem."

C. Why is there such a great gulf between the husband and wife who were able to talk with each other before marriage but can not communicate after their marriage began?

1. Is there nothing to talk about now?

2. Many times the real reason is selfishness and neglect. The husband is not longer interested in his wife and v.v..

3. Many become more engrossed in their job, hobbies, TV Sports, etc. than with their mate. They feel stuck in a rut!

4. How can this problem be overcome? Only one way---both the husband and the wife must learn how to show true love and concern for each other (I Cor. 13:4-8).

D. How do we learn to communicate?

1. Turn off the TV for a specified period of time and talk about things of importance about the day’s activities.

2. Call your wife or husband from your work.

3. Take a regular walk together. It’s a good time to talk.

4. Talk about things of mutual interest.

5. Be a good listener. It’s almost a lost art.

 

A. So many divorces today because of Irreconcilable Differences. The couple says they are not compatible.

B. Compatibility is not a right—It is an adjustment. We can not expect our partner to do all the adjusting.

1. It is a progressive ability. No two people are alike or even have the same likes and dislikes, yet they can become the best friends either of them has.

2. Spend enough time together to really get to know each other. Men have a tendency to seek recreation with their fellow-men rather than with their wife or family. Some women do this also.

 

A. Tons of books have been written on the subject of sex and most of them are not worth burning.

1. Dr. Stephen Neiger, Ex. Dir. Of the Sex Info. And Ed. Council of Canada said: "Most of the troubled couples, who come to see me for counseling, have read 3 or 4 books on how to make love and have been so damaged by them that they are forced to seek professional help."

B. Right Knowledge Is Needed.

1. Need proper knowledge of Sex. Sex is not a dirty word or a dirty subject. It was God’s plan for the male and female to be drawn to one another (Gen. 2:24). Sex in marriage is how God intended it.

2. The problem is sexual promiscuity and sexual deviation.

3. Even in marriage, sex is viewed by some as a cure-all and ultimate end in marriage. Often this does not work out as the manuals say. Why? Because it usually involves the missing ingredient in sex—an on-going and deep love for your mate.

4. Marital love matures as the couple increases in true love for each other.

5. If sex, even in marriage, is based on selfish lust rather than an out-going physical expression of love, it can be harmful to the marriage.

 

A. Men and women are different in literally every cell of their bodies due to the male and female chromosomes. We are different in height, weight, figure, skeletal structure, metabolism, strength, some internal organs, ability to bear children and temperament, to name a few.

1. It is not a matter of superiority or inferiority—but a matter of simply being different from each other.

2. The wise married couple learns how to appreciate and enjoy these differences.

B. The Wife’s Responsibilities. A survey of 622 urban housewives in 1965 revealed that they considered their roles to be: (1) mother, (2) homemaker and (3) wife—in that order! (Eph. 522-24).

1. Today, there is even greater confusion concerning the woman’s role as to her career, home, children and husband.

2. If a woman has chosen to be married, she must respond as a wife if her marriage is to be successful.

 

C. Husband’s Responsibilities.

1. Treat her with dignity.

2. Be the primary provider and protector.

3. Be the Spiritual leader in the home.

4. Put forth the necessary effort to see her point of view.

5. (Eph. 5:25-28).

D. Men can understand Women and V.V. but it isn’t automatic. It involves concern, love and understanding of each other’s role.

E. Mutual Responsibilities.

1. Love one another as our own selves (Matt. 22:39).

2. Train and discipline your children (Eph. 6:1-4)

3. Set the right example for mate, children and friends.

 

A. A major source of problems in divorce.

B. Proper Budget that can be agreeable with H & W.

1. Put the Lord first (Matt. 6:33).

2. You make it and I’ll spend it!

3. Do not be selfish with the money

C. Share financial responsibilities by conferring and do not overspend. This promotes family harmony.

Conclusion: All of these areas are easier to deal with if both are faithful Christians. Then follow the principles of Eph. 5:22-33 and you will have a good marriage. Many others have and so can we!

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