Questions About Marriage And Morality
(I Cor. 7:1-5)
Introduction: Much has been written and spoken on this subject. It is no less a problem today than when the Apostles lived. No man is an absolute authority on this subject. The Bible must be the final answer, whether man agrees or not. Due to the importance of this topic, we must search the Bible carefully for the answers to our questions (II Cor. 5:10).
Our marriages must be right before God or we will lose our souls. Therefore, it is a subject that must be dealt with seriously. Marriage is a relationship that should be entered only after much prayer and consideration.
I. Who Instituted Marriage?
A. God (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:4-6; Eph. 5:31).
B. God intended marriage for all who have the desire. No church or religious organization should restrict or forbid marriage among its members or leaders (I Cor. 7:1-5).
C. God intended marriage to be between a man and a woman (text).
D. God did not institute a marriage ceremony. That came from our civil laws, which we are to obey (Rom. 13:1-5).
II. How Long Is Marriage To Last?
A. Two people become one flesh (Matt. 19:6; Eph. 5:31).
B. Man is not to separate them (Matt. 19:6).
C. Divorce was never intended, but was tolerated under the Law of Moses because of the hardness of their hearts (Matt. 19:7).
D. Death is the only cause for termination of a marriage that is honorable to both parties (Rom. 7:2,3).
E. Marriage is to be a monogamy, not a polygamy.
III. Does God Recognize The Marriage Of The Non-Christian And The Christian?
A. Yes (I Cor. 7:12-16).
B. God recognizes the marriages of non-Christians (Mark 6:17,18; John 4:16ff) Herod was not a Jew, yet God did not approve of his marriage, which indicated a moral issue was involved.
IV. What Constitutes A Marriage?
A. The living together of a man and woman who have fulfilled all the civil regulations that are harmonious with God’s law, with the intention of being husband and wife, with all of the privileges and responsibilities thereof.
Article: Mixed Marriages. "143 Christian young people in the Miami, OK congregation have married during the past 20 years. 79 married non-Christians; of these, 57 left the church; 25 were divorced (32%); 22 are still faithful Christians; 14 have converted their mates. On the other hand, 64 married Christians, and of these, 59 are still faithful to the Lord. 2 marriages ended in divorce (0.97)." Via Four-State Gospel News.1.
B. The blending of lives and purposes. The safest course for a Christian is to marry another Christian. Some have converted their mates and some have not. Some are married before either one has become a Christians (Eph. 5:21-33).
C. Marriage is not just a sexual relationship. If so, Fornication, Adultery and all illicit sex would become a marriage. I Cor. 6:16-18; Gal. 5:19 & Rom. 1:28-32 condemns such as sin. Yet, Hebrews 13:4 says that marriage is honorable for everyone.
V. Can Marriage Be Broken Or Terminated Scripturally?
A. H.C. Thomas, of Chino, CA says No. (Adultery or anything else).
B. Some say yes, for many reasons. Some states grant divorces for: Desertion, Non-support, Incompatibility, Alienation of affections, Adultery, Mental Cruelty, Unfaithfulness, Attempt on Spouse’s life, Extreme cruelty, Conviction of a felony, Fraud, Habitual drunkenness, Idiocy or Insanity, Undisclosed Prior marriage, Wife with unborn child by another man when married, Willful neglect, Imprisonment of Spouse, and many other reasons.
C. The Bible give only two reasons for a marriage to be terminated in a scriptural manner:
1. Fornication or Adultery (Matt. 5:32; 19:3-9).
2. Death of the Spouse (Rom. 7:2; I Cor. 7:39).
VI. What Is The Difference In Fornication And Adultery?
A. Fornication is the unscriptural sex act between a man and a woman who are not married to each other (I Cor. 7:2).
1. All homosexual acts are wrong (Genesis 19:1-14 (Sodom); I Cor. 6:9-11; Rom 1:26, 27).
B. Adultery is the sex act of a man and woman who are married to someone else at that time.
C. Also, adultery is when a man and woman are married to each other, but one or both of them have been married before and do not have a scriptural divorce (Romans 7:2,3).
VII. Can Adultery And Fornication Be Forgiven?
A. Yes. If one obeys the Gospel and truly repents of their sins.
B. Some at Corinth were adulterers and fornicators (I Cor. 6:9-11).
C. But, we must remember that things sinful before marriage are sinful also after marriage. Consider the works of the flesh (Gal. 5:16-21).
1. Both fornication and adultery are sins before baptism and are still sinful after the baptism.
2. Past sins are forgiven when repented of fully. Repent means to turn away from sinful practices. Note Paul’s admonition in II Cor. 12:19-21).
VIII. When Fornication Occurs, What Is To Be Done?
A. The innocent party may put away the guilty party (Matt. 19:9).
B. However, this is not commanded but it is the only scriptural reason.
One may forgive the guilty party, if they are penitent and willing to stop their sinful acts of adultery. I know of a few cases where the guilty party was forgiven and the marriage continued.1.
2. In some cases, it could be more advantageous to continue with the marriage. In others, reconciliation is impossible.
3. Many times, there are other problems in the marriage, which lead to the unfaithfulness of one or both parties.
IX. If There Is A Divorce Where No Fornication Has Occurred, Can Either Party Marry If The Other One Gets Married First?
A. Fornication is to be the reason for putting away the spouse, not something that occurs after the divorce. Many play the waiting game in the hope of justifying a second marriage.
X. If The Husband And/Or Wife Had An Unscriptural Divorce Before Their Conversion, May They Remain Married After They Become Christians?
A. Baptism does not change God’s law.
B. Baptism does not make a wrong relationship right.
C. Adultery is wrong for the alien sinner or the Christian.
D. All passed sins are washed away, but not those in which we continue.
E. Marriage is a continuing state of union. It is either right or wrong before God.
We may present many "what ifs" but we must make sure about things with eternal consequences.1.
XI. What Does One Do When The Marriage Is Adulterous?
A. This can be a very difficult and heart breaking situation if the marriage is a happy one.
B. It has to be dealt with the same as any other sin. It must be put off---It has to cease.
C. The repentance of sins must include an unscriptural marriage.
Repentance always precedes forgiveness, which is necessary for salvation.1.
D. Man may seek to justify his position, but this is of no value if God condemns it. A civil ceremony does not make right a moral wrong.
E. In Ezra 9 & 10, Ezra offers a prayer to God for the Israelites. The men, even some of the Priests, had married foreign women and had children by them. They had to put them away to be pleasing to God. He had told them not to intermarry, but they did it anyway. This was very difficult but they had brought it on themselves.
Conclusion: In most situations, PREVENTION is far better and easier than the cure!! This is so true in marriage.
1. Let us teach this lesson to our children and the teens of the church.
2. Let us work hard to make our marriage a good one.
a. Article: Family—Life’s Richest Resource.
3. Resolve to be the best mate possible.
4. Keep the communication lines open.
Robert L. Brown
Great Oaks Church of Christ